ROUND ONE

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we’re here at ring side in Madison Square Garden for the heavy weight championship of the world. In the blue corner, we have the current reigning champion, President Barracks “Boom Boom” Obomba and his trainer, George Clooney and corner man, Sarah Jessica Parker. Seated behind the champ are all the major media outlets. In the red corner, we have the challenger, Rom Mitney or, I’m having trouble reading this card, Ney Rommit who sits alone with only Fox News sitting behind him. And there’s the bell starting the first round! The champ rises up but the challenger explodes out of his corner and immediately hits the champ with the poverty rate and the unemployment rate, sending the champ reeling against the ropes. The champ attempts to counter with Obomba Care but the challenger easily parries that thrust and delivers a sharp upper cut to the champ’s chin on the deficit and the champ hits the canvas. Clooney rushes out as the champ attempts to stand and–wait, what’s that disturbance at the back of the hall? It looks like, yes, it’s the champ’s sparring partner, Joe Biden. It looks like Biden is going to rush down and actually get in the ring. But wait, someone has grabbed Biden by the arm and is saying something to him. Why it’s Clint Eastwood. Now Biden is running back to his seat, trembling. Let me ask our floor reporter if she got that exchange. Yes? He did? Eastwood told Biden, “Get back to your seat unless you feel lucky. Well, do you feel lucky punk?” Wow, what a fight ladies and gentlemen and it’s only the first round!”

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