VOTERS

With the election looming, it’s interesting to review the range of voters who will soon be casting their ballots. First, we have the “Crazies.” These voters either believe Obomba is the reincarnation of Lenin born on Mars or those who believe Rimney is a corporate raider who kills old ladies as a result of his belief in a cult religion. Then, we have the “Ideologues.” These are voters who can recite with conviction the respective talking points from the left and right but when pressed for details wander off muttering expletives with righteous indignation. When confronted with how they will vote, the “Undecideds” look around, sigh, smile and say, their voices dropping to a whisper, that they are aren’t sure. Their faces redden as they are scowled at, recognizing they’ve been revealed for what they really mean, “Who’s running?” Rampant among young voters, the “Singles” will be voting for the candidate who endorses a particular social issue they agree with, such as abortion or gay rights. As one young interviewee said, after indicating she will vote for the Prexy because he is in favor of gay marriage, on the issue of health care, “I don’t worry about that, my parents pay for my health care.” Finally, we have the “Committed” voters who, ignoring attack ads and the press, actually study the candidates and their respective positions on the issues. Hmm. Which kind of voter will you be?

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